philly. 19. black. scorpio. spoken word poet. music lover. sales representative. people person. ask me the rest. follow me. love me. talk to me.
at a block party, so im attempting to actually spend time with my family. since im not around them all the time and they say they miss me.
(i miss them too, of course, but i like to be out with my friends a lot too. so it makes it hard on them.)
so im outside on my grandma’s front porch. laughing, dancing, enjoying everything..
and then it’s just me and my mom.
so i said how a little girl running down the street was adorable.
and then she says “our people need to do better with losing weight because too many of us are obese..”
then i said “i think we’ll be okay.”
so she retorts with “nah, it’s not okay.”
then she looks at me, and i look back and half smile.
cause i know it’s coming.
she squints her eyes at me.
"your lips are black again because you’ve been smoking."
“i haven’t been smoking, mom.”
“you were on the back porch yesterday.”
“to just be on the back porch. it was really nice.”
which was actually true. i wanted to tan my legs.
but then she just rolls her eyes at me.
"the music got so loud. why would they do that?"
im trying to be positive man. i really am.
my aunt said i gotta deal with my mom being like this because it’s my fault from all the stuff i did. so she said i have to live with whatever she puts me through, unfair or not.
im sure that’s why tumblr was invented. so i could have a place to escape and rant and get distracted then feel better.
i need new friends.
who lives in philly and doesn’t flake out?
i can’t breathe out of my frickin nose jfc
and mister “i know imma be up all night” (nvade-my-realm) is snoring away on the phone
send me asks and vamp with me😁👌
nighty nite time for me.
i gots a busy day ahead of me!
g’nite tumblrverse! ☺️😴
he passed out on me like the chump he is tho 😩
it’s alright doe, he got work all day tomorrow and i don’t, so imma let him sleep. 😚
who finna stay up with me tonite?
i gotta start doing my spoken word again..
it’s been a minute and inspiration has been hard to find.
i need some fresh social excitement
or a shocking spontaneous loving surprise.
and ill be able to finish this one that i started doing a month ago.
someone make me mac & cheese
come feed me it
and tell me im pretty while you do it
ill give you all my love and cuddles~
idc idc idc idc if you find me funny or not.
i make ME laugh.
and i be crackin’ my lil’ corny self UP.
so if you have a problem with any of this, unfollowing me should come sometime in your future.
it’s taken me a very long time to realize that i need to make me smile before any of y’all cornballs out there.
going to see nicki minaj and ariana grande at the parkway today
omg im spazzing out
ariana grande is perf and nicki is my queen and im just so overwhelmeeeeeed
who else in philly gonna be in the city for welcome america?
tumblr meetup! 😁
i am VEXED.
i am so bloody furious and im trying to calm down but all that keeps replaying in my head from last night was finally getting there and realizing that i was NOT supposed to be alone. and the entire walk back was so bad that some older woman (call her sarah) stopped me and talked to me. she told me that if people weren’t willing to put the effort into me that i was to them, then i need to go take my effort and push it right back towards me.
and i did.
and i was still pissed.
but that woman was the only good thing i had last night.
shit im pissed.
there has been a non-stop bile rising in my throat since, and if someone comes at me the wrong way, i might genuinely end up in a fight.
i need supersoak.
ive been putting everything off, like You’ll call me or text me to tell me it was a false alarm, everything’s cancelled, and that i shouldn’t worry my “pretty little head” about these things. ive officially come to terms that i will indeed have to pick out something to wear to go attend the services especially made for You..
It’s so crazy, how you can know someone, never matters how long, but they make such an impact on your life, and can leave such a huge gap when they leave. If I’d known You would… i would have tried to make O/our time together that much more special.
at the end of the day, it boils down to one thing:
i miss the living shit out of You, Eagle.
in a short amount of time, You managed to break my walls down and taught me new levels of trust i’d never thought I’d learn. You were hilarious, charismatic, reasonable, and above all else, kind. You were one of the easiest people to converse with, and full of witty snaps and comebacks as well. God, You were a joy to know, and i can honestly say i was so lucky to choose Your message out of all the others to respond to and trust. i just hope that at the end of the day, You knew just how much You were loved.
thank You for everything, Eagle. really.
With all the love a little girl can give (which is a whole lot),